Dear Winter

Hi Scottish Winter 2013/14 

You might not be aware of this but i actually moved to Scotland recently to enjoy what some people have described to me as: "the best winter climbing in the world". I have, unfortunately come to some quite different conclusions, such as:

• You are un-reliable.
• People keep talking about: That winter! and the snow in 1978. Seems quite some time ago now, maybe you'd like to show your face again soon.
• Being brain dead helps because you can keep walking into crags in freezing rain over and over again only to find them: Not in? Whatever that means. 
• Everything is far away, driving in B3 boots whilst drinking tea from a flask in mitts has become a recent hobby of mine. 
• People think your a pussy if you don't walk around in the rain or reply to a text: "bit too windy for me mate sorry!" even though its forecast 90mph. "Get on with it youth" followed by: "That looks a bit black! Was the turf frozen? are you aware of the delicate flora and fauna your destroying? you bastard!" In harmony with other styles of climbing the armchair appears to be the safest place from which to hurl abuse.

Anyway, i'm open to change, and if this is all a silly misunderstanding then please get back to me soon. An explanation to the above points would be superb.

Regards - The JB Chef.

                                                                 

Hi there JB Chef.

In response to your points: Perhaps snowboarding would be more your thing.

I'll arrive when i'm damn well ready.

Regards - Winter 2013/14