MOT pass

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes no advisories yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes come on! The only reasonable explanation is that all of last years advisories have, due to driving 10,000 miles, fixed themselves. This morning I also prayed to: God, Allah, Buddah, Vishnu and anyone else who would listen so watch this space for religious comeuppance to strike me down.... 

Rowing Machine Handle Rant

Dear gym user: please spray and wipe down the rowing machine once you are finished using it. 

For fuck sake! is this real? Tip: To avoid infection - don't put the handle of the rowing machine in your fucking mouth. You have more problems to worry about than other peoples germs if this is your 'thing'. I watched someone spray and wipe down the SEAT of a rowing machine. Naked rowing is currently not allowed in the gym. Heaven forbid that fart you did whilst cranking through interval 19 on your 500m/1.00r remains on the seat (in poo particulate matter) only to be transfered to the outside of someone else's gym shorts. Get a grip - on a dirty rowing machine handle.

Dear Winter

Hi Scottish Winter 2013/14 

You might not be aware of this but i actually moved to Scotland recently to enjoy what some people have described to me as: "the best winter climbing in the world". I have, unfortunately come to some quite different conclusions, such as:

• You are un-reliable.
• People keep talking about: That winter! and the snow in 1978. Seems quite some time ago now, maybe you'd like to show your face again soon.
• Being brain dead helps because you can keep walking into crags in freezing rain over and over again only to find them: Not in? Whatever that means. 
• Everything is far away, driving in B3 boots whilst drinking tea from a flask in mitts has become a recent hobby of mine. 
• People think your a pussy if you don't walk around in the rain or reply to a text: "bit too windy for me mate sorry!" even though its forecast 90mph. "Get on with it youth" followed by: "That looks a bit black! Was the turf frozen? are you aware of the delicate flora and fauna your destroying? you bastard!" In harmony with other styles of climbing the armchair appears to be the safest place from which to hurl abuse.

Anyway, i'm open to change, and if this is all a silly misunderstanding then please get back to me soon. An explanation to the above points would be superb.

Regards - The JB Chef.

                                                                 

Hi there JB Chef.

In response to your points: Perhaps snowboarding would be more your thing.

I'll arrive when i'm damn well ready.

Regards - Winter 2013/14