The Jet Boil Chef: Reduced food Renaissance

The reduced food aisle has always been, like many others, a favorite of mine. However, recently it seems things have become more serious. The joyful laughter of customers saving money has now turned into war cries. Men, women, young and old are all out in a bid to save pennies. Winters coming. Twice weekly as I enter the battle arena and throw G into the absurd carnage that has become ‘the reduced foods section’ I ask myself: what has become of the human race? Fingernails filed razor sharp, knuckle-dusters held concealed within pockets the other reduced foods bargain hunters line up. As the pubescent teenager approaches with the ‘yellow sticker creation machine’ we all jostle for position. That cheesecake will come down 90% in price within the next 30 seconds and who doesn’t love cheesecake? Let alone 90% price reduced cheesecake. A woman with a walking stick approaches the crowd; ‘No disabled parking here LOVE – get to the back’. It’s a trick; little old frail lady unleashes the walking stick across my back. BOOM. Once again it has begun. I turn and catch old lady full in the jaw with a right hook. BOOM. To the ground. G uses this confusion to her advantages and fills our trolley full of the finest reduced foods. G done good.